I was on the phone with my best friend this morning on my way to school (my favorite place to drive at 7:45 am with standstill traffic because an entire street is shut down) and after we got off the phone I started laughing to myself- yes, this is a regular occurrence. I realize that 70% of the time when I answer somebody's question, or when I ask them a question there are two ways to interpret:
1. What I say
2. What I really mean
Here's a few to start your morning:
When talking about taking the dog outWhat I say:"Has Tucker gone out this morning?"
What I really mean: "I'm running late, I haven't eaten breakfast, packed my lunch or brushed me hair. Can YOU please take the dog out."
When my friends invite me somewhere and I ask who is going
What I say: "Oh that sounds fun, who all is going." -Insert group of catty girls here- "I'll talk to Hunter and see what he wants to do."
What I really mean: "Yeah, I'd rather pull my eyelashes out then voluntarily lower my IQ by listening to their conversation."
When Hunter asks me what's wrong
What I say: "Seriously nothing, its just been a long day."
What I really mean: "I'm too exhausted to even know what's wrong but for both of our sanity I hope you can figure it out."
(Boy do I love him for putting up with me when I'm in my "seriously nothing's wrong" moods).
When family asks me how school's going
What I say: "School's good, almost done with my first year. It was definitely an adjustment but its gotten so much better." (This has become a sort of script for me- no need for judgement, people).
What I really mean: "How's school? Really? Please ask me something else. Okay fine, I'll answer. School isn't as bad as it was 11 months ago, it either has something to do with the obnoxious amount of wine I've been drinking every night or that fact I've become numb to knowing what happiness feels like."
(Alright, that one is a little exaggerated. But partially true. And it made me laugh, so there).
When a friend asks me if I want to grab dinner on a Sunday
What I say: "Sunday? That's usually my night to catch up on school work and get ready for the week, how about another night?"
What I mean: "Sunday?! Are you freaking crazy? If you were really my friend you would know that Real Housewives of New Jersery, Dexter, Keeping up with the Kardashians and Princesses of Long Island are on- Shoot, you'll be lucky if I find time take a shower before I go to bed."
Thinking of these actually made me laugh out loud (and hopefully you too), so maybe this will become a weekly post.